In Search of a Carwash

Today was the most gloriously nearly-doomed boondoggle. We didn’t have a specific plan for today, but having noted that our cars were dirty, we decided to start our day at the carwash – rather, “Carwash Falls,” a waterfall you can drive under which empties into the Big Piney Creek that runs alongside. That sounded embarrassingly touristy, but perhaps not quite as bad as that time we drove through a tree. Little did we know that it’d take us all damn day to get there, only 30 miles away.

After a gas stop, I led us back into the forest onto another unpaved road off one of the forest highways. A mile or so in, George instructed me to take a fork that quickly turned into a muddy, rocky, downhill slide-y adventure.

That went surprisingly well for all parties, Civic included – until we found a massive tree that had fallen across the road, making it entirely impassible.

So we had to turn around on a tiny trail and make our way back up the mudslide. Thankfully, that went faster, having already cleared the path. But all the ruts we’d made in the soft mud left fewer lines to get through the worst bits. But we survived! And everyone got out quickly enough that I didn’t even get any pictures of it.

Kate, victorious. Jude helped.

Back at the fork, George indicated that we should get back on the road I’d originally followed. I decided to celebrate quietly in my car instead of lording that over him. As it so happened, that was a good idea because “my” route didn’t go much better. The drive was beautiful and undramatic. Until we encountered a flooded river, Moccasin Creek.

Kate and I were bantering back and forth about fording it, until I realized she didn’t think I was joking… And she sure wasn’t. She announced that she could ford it. And I was excited to see that because I was … decidedly less confident. But half-way through the river, she had to reverse out because it got a lot deeper and she was in danger of dipping below her intake.

So we all had to backtrack again, all the way to the highway where this all started and head over on pavement. Like yesterday, I’m not mad about it. It was an intensely beautiful drive. But first, a quick snack stop.

Finally, we turned down the unpaved route to the falls. We stopped on the way in for Evan to assess a cooling issue and because on the way down into the valley, I could smell car part barbecue from someone but I couldn’t figure out who, so we all checked ourselves over.

From there, it was another lovely and mellow unpaved road to — you guessed it — yet another river ford that was unavoidable. Clearly, given all the rain in the area last week, if we were to make it to the carwash today, we would have to face this river eventually. A small group of campers had set up along the bank and told us that cars had been going across all afternoon, which made us feel marginally better.

Unfortunately, though three of us slowly developed the courage to give it a shot, we all understood that the Civic, mighty in its efforts all weekend, had reached the end of its line. Evan parked it next to the campsite and he and Miles (the dog) moved into the Renegade for the remainder.

I was surprisingly sad to leave the Civic behind. It had come this far, and already done even more than I expected it to, but we were about to ford The Nile. At least, in my terrified little mind. The river wasn’t particularly deep, but it was swift and rather wide.

But as I wallowed in my angst, Kate and Brady took off, making a quick though somewhat dramatic show as George and Evan lined up to give it a go.

And suddenly it was just me, the Xterra, the whole group on the other side — alive and running — and a small crowd of campers on this side who would be there to laugh at me should I bail. So there was nothing for it – I had to go.

Video by Kate.

Did I mention how wide this river was?

On the other side, the landscape changed. We were out of the hills and cliffs, into some farming land with different types of trees and large clearings. We charged triumphantly over the dirt tracks toward Carwash Falls and drove up to an overhung cliff with a slight trickle of water coming over it. Surely this wasn’t it. But the marker on my GPS atlas sure did say it was.

Can you see it? Because I sure can’t.

If I just spilled a glass of water on flat ground, it would make more of a waterfall than this. I was torn between being disappointed and laughing at the cruel irony of fighting our way to a waterfall that didn’t exist. Until I noticed that while one marker said this was it, the map also had another marker a quarter mile ahead. Whew.

And there it was. As a waterfall alone, it didn’t photograph particularly impressively, but it sure did make a show to drive through. It was delightfully silly. And an unanticipated side-effect — it cooled down our roofs substantially. I hadn’t been running the A/C, but even with windows down, it had been getting warmer steadily for hours.

This was originally intended to be a one-way drive, but we’d left the Civic behind on the other side of the river, so clearly we had to turn around and do it all again! I was secretly a little excited to drive back through the carwash. Purely for practical reasons, of course — the Xterra still had great muddiness. I was less enthusiastic for the, uhh, “undercarriage wash,” but what the hell, we’d already done it once. How hard could it be?

But because we’d turned around in order, that meant I was now in the lead of this ridiculous caravan and Xterra had to cross the Delaware first. It was fun and uneventful, and photographic evidence proves that I was not in up to the roof-rack, even if I felt like I was. But I did feel the current of the river pulling me a bit sideways.

Photo by Evan.

Safely ashore on the other side, Brady had already taken the wheel of Kate’s Jeep and gunned it across, landing about as I got out of my car to start photographing. That just left George in the Renegade with Evan and Miles. And boy did he make a run for it, likely to make a good show for the family that had gathered on shore to watch. He kept his speed a bit higher this time to build a better bow wave in the current.

I wasn’t sure if he was coming ashore or storming the beaches of Normandy, but he made it, and it was deeply impressive to the crowd who started to film him.

By this point, it was after 5, and we were almost an hour from the cabin. So we opted to head back on yet another gorgeous highway to have a bbq on the back porch with beer and dogs. Tomorrow, we’re looking for a little trouble to get into before we head home.