They’ve both been idiots.

Saturday morning began far too early. George and Evan both needed cars, so Charlie and I ferried them all around creation in the Rental Chariot and the 4Runner, respectively.

Evan and I hit the freeway for the first time in the 4Runner headed down to Modesto. Red is… not fast. Josh’s big tires and lift kit are certainly to blame, and are certainly doing horrible things to my fuel efficiency. Thankfully, 70mph Interstate driving isn’t part of the plans for much of this trip.

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Evan’s first stop was the a blue Izuzu Rodeo, which was parked next to a blue Bumblebee! We had to call George. Anyway, the Rodeo was glued to the ground with spiderwebs, so clearly it’s been sitting a while. On the test-drive, it was surprisingly torque-y in the low end, which was exciting, but beyond that it wasn’t too powerful, though that wasn’t a deal-breaker. The seller also failed to mention that the 4-wheel-drive system is inoperative, which was a deal-breaker. Also, it smelled like diapers.

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So we headed back to Spot Time Auto to take a look at the Trooper I’d talked him into checking out. That went poorly. Evan did appreciate its styling, but was unimpressed with the tapping from the engine. The dealer let us take it out for a test drive, and it didn’t take long to realize that this vehicle was a catastrophe waiting to happen: horrible slippage in what we believe to be the clutch plates of the automatic transmission when starting from a stop. Like, Star Trek Original Series level shaking and rattling when accelerating below 10mph.

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Next, Evan went to see a white Rodeo at a shady little dealership right outside downtown. It was running when we got there, which worried us a bit, clearly he was trying to hide something. It didn’t take long to realize that this wasn’t even equipped with 4WD or AWD, despite what the dealer had said so in the ad and then reiterated it in person. As we walked away, that’s when it happened.

Yes, Evan asked the lying dealer if he had anything that was 4WD in the same price range and lo and behold, there were two options: an F250 Diesel and a 2001 Land Rover Discovery. Yes, this fool test drove a Land Rover.

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As he tooled around the neighborhood, I watched it happen. He was falling in love and trying to find any reason not to. I would have started with, “well, it’s Land Rover, so it’ll die on you,” but that apparently wasn’t enough; this train had left the station.

So he did it. And then we caravaned back to the house. On the way, I stopped at a tire shop for an alignment and an oil change, which turned into a strong recommendation to replace two of my tires because of serious wear that was not apparent at night. Ouch.

George and Charlie had been running on silent mode for a while, and then we got the announcement: they’d made a deal and were headed back. Before long, we heard a horn outside and came out to see George’s acquisition: a white 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Apparently he decided to continue his tradition of buying hen houses; it’s a great ride if you don’t look inside.

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The remainder of the afternoon was dedicated to Evan’s video project, returning my rental Hyundai, having a lovely celebratory dinner at the Zinfandel Grille, and passing out.

Last year, our second day in San Diego was devoted to finding a third car. This year, we’re complete on Day 1. What are we gonna do to fill the time?

George has asked to go to a junkyard tomorrow. Probably to drop his car off.

Two discoveries on the Rover this morning: a partially completed marriage counseling workbook, and a very unfortunate placard that Evan didn’t notice yesterday. I may not lose the fuel game after all.

Both the glass and the back gate of George’s Jeep open but the struts to support them are bad so they slam shut unless they’re held open. So we hit up a pick-a-part looking for replacements while Evan worked on some Rover mysteries.

The Repair Bill

Happy of Mothers’ Day to Karen, Sue, Anna, and Deborah. Our gift to you this year is that we all did safety-related repairs today.

Since we finished finding cars yesterday, today was focused on fixing and tweaking and errand running in preparation for the first drive tomorrow, including a major haul at the Harbor Freight.

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George had described the driving quality of the Jeep as “alarming,” so it went to Pep Boys first this morning. He maintained that he had shorted the purchase budget as much as he did so he’d have a sizable repair budget and would know that the most important bits were in good shape. I think he just wanted to get out ahead of yet another repair bill nearly the size of the purchase.

Evan spent the entire day on the Rover. Its curiosities are many. He replaced the headlight which blew again two hours later, repaired the rear wiper and front sprayers, fixed the latch in the rear jumpseat, and “tried to replace the wipers but that didn’t go well.” Also, the tape deck ate the tape adapter he bought to play music from his phone (yes, those are still for sale, pick them up at Pep Boys in the bargain bin). And this afternoon, I caught him reading the manual, not the service manual but the drivers’ manual that comes with the car that explains what all the buttons are. He also had two of the tires replaced.

Red got most of its work done yesterday afternoon, but I followed up with a wiper replacement, discovering to my surprise that the sprayers do actually work, and ferrying folks around on their errands. I do still have this giant subwoofer in the back that I don’t want, but Josh included with the sale. It isn’t hooked up and I have no interest in doing so, but it’s just in the way. I don’t even know anyone with a subwoofer. … Do I know anyone who wants a subwoofer?

Today’s field trip was out to the Pick-a-Part junkyard for some lift gate struts for George so that he can open the back gate without it crashing right back down. Junkyards are always a lot of fun. I did find two 4Runners out there, but they had already been picked clean.

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Pep Boys called George back, all I heard him say was, “Yeah, that’s about what I was expecting.” Then he walked over and explained that major suspension work was being replaced and that his power steering pump couldn’t be flushed because the hose had what the mechanic described as a “hemorrhoid” and none of the replacement hoses he ordered were long enough, so clearly a previous owner re-positioned or incorrectly replaced the pump. Also, the rear right shock was seized (so, almost fully extended and not collapsible, which is why his car felt like a wobbly table at a restaurant where one of the feet is too tall).

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This evening, we did a lot of installation work for cameras, navigation, and various creature-comforts in preparation for tomorrow’s first drive. George discovered that the gross seat-covers on his front seats weren’t necessary, just an unsuccessful attempt to mask seats that didn’t match. Then he ruined it with this thing:

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Tonight ended with dinner at a sushi place in downtown Sacramento and a quick run to Safeway for water, road snacks, and more caffeine. Tomorrow we head from Sacramento to Topaz Lake, which not very too far. About two hours, a test drive.

The spot of our first breakdown, across the street from the AirBnB. Jeep’s oil pressure sensor is leaking, which is the exact problem the Bumblebee had last fall. Leak is slow, so we’re gonna grab one on the way out of town and replace it tonight in Topaz.

Today wasn’t going to be offroad at all. Just some rural highways and a couple forest roads between Sacramento and Topaz Lake by way of Lake Tahoe. This is what George’s atlas defined as “Other Paved Road.” It got worse. But I will say, this was incredibly fun.